What others say about

Just What We Need

 

Emotional Needs Course

Autumn/Winter 2011


I was first advised about this course by Daisy Chain Children’s Centre in Bletchley.  At that time I had lost my identity.  I had had a still born little girl in November 2008 and then had a miscarriage in March 2009 and finally given birth to a beautiful little boy in February 2010.  Since losing children and having a child I didn’t know who I was anymore nor what I needed from life.


I joined the course in September 2011.  This course is for anyone who needs to work out where they are and what they need from life.  I found the whole experience amazing.  I know now who I am, where I am in my life and most importantly what I need from my life. I cannot thank the course leaders enough nor can I thank Daisy Chain enough for allowing me to participate in the course.


I have learnt how to be more open and honest about my feelings, how I communicate or not with others.  How to trust a group of people who I have never met before with personal information about me and know that that information will not go beyond the room.  More importantly I can be who I want to be without having to hide either my feelings or emotions.  I have also learnt how to keep my emotional and thinking brain separately and take a step back from a situation if my emotional brain takes over allowing me time to think before saying.


I have also learnt how to deal with difficult situations and tell those who mean the most to me how much I value them and supporting me through my most difficult and emotional times.


This course is absolutely fantastic and I would recommend it to anyone.  I have learnt so much about me and how I want to live my life and hopefully have made friends with those from the course for life.


Rachel Tester

December 2011.

After 29 years of being bullied in every area of my life ... home, school, work this is the first group I have been able to feel relaxed in.  They have changed my life - a dad , Dec 2011

When I have a few minutes without the children I usually do housework, washing etc.  This course is something I do for me.

I am so shy that I couldn’t speak for the first 2 weeks but now I’m really happy here and I hope the group carries on meeting when this course is over.

We’ve laughed together and cried together, we really trust one another.

how they can adapt the programme to meet their needs. Follow this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=cTOKDpsKt0s

  1. Session 9

  2. Meaning & Purpose

  1. Session 10

  2. Status

  1. Session 6

  2. emotion Connection

  1. Session 9

  2. Meaning & Purpose

  1. bill andrews shares his experience

  1. Lorna & George

  2. Jersey women’s refusge

                                   














My name is Tanya Simms. Last year, Jan 2011, I had the pleasure of taking part in the Just What We Need course. Life was very sad and hard for me at that time and was also rather distressing for my three children to see. I needed some help, and was looking for some answers to why my life was the way it was and how to change it. The Just What We Need course helped and changed my life and thinking in many ways - how positive thinking can help in situations with a clear and calm mind. When calm, things don't seem so bad, and so you can have control of your life and be clearer about how to control your life positively. I needed to believe

in myself and allow others to help me. I needed to be able to know how to ask for help. I also needed to build my self confidence, and to be a positive role model for my children.  I'm pleased to say the course did help me in these areas.


At the end of my course the facilitators asked the group if anyone was interested in helping them to run another course as a parent helper. I was interested in doing this to help others benefit as I had from the course. So I was pleased when I was given the opportunity to do this in my local Children’s Centre in January 2012. When we discussed how I would help, I agreed to meet and greet parents and organise refreshments for the sessions. We explored if there were parts of the session I could help deliver, but we felt that we could decide on those things as the course went on. I felt as the course went on, my confidence level grew and I felt able to do more e.g. I led the mayo jar and coffee activity in session nine and asked some of the parents to help with it. Because I reflected on the sessions at home, I chose a couple of poem handouts relating to the theme of two of the sessions that we gave to the parents. I felt privileged that Jo and Kevin, the professional facilitators, always made me feel as an equal with them. They were appreciative when I had something to share. I was involved in session debriefs after each session and was able to make some suggestions for things that might work better next time around.


The main positive of being a parent helper was that I wasn't a professional facilitator. Therefore I was a neutral person as far as the parents in the group were concerned. I choose to share some of my problems and difficulties that I had had in life and that I still came out the other end smiling-ish! In part due to having done this course I found that some of the members of the group bonded more with me because of this. They treated me with the same respect as the group leaders but also saw me as someone they could relate to and who was not a professional figure of authority.


In one of the sessions, one of the activities (throwing an imaginary ball) did not work as well as anticipated. As a parent that had completed the course, I felt happy to share my views and experiences with Jo and Kevin and how it felt to be a parent on the course when such an activity did not quite work out as planned e.g. this activity left some of the parents in this group feeling a little out of their comfort zone. I felt it important to let Jo and Kevin know how this affected some parents and they were happy to hear my thoughts on this.


I enjoyed being a parent helper and would gladly offer my help and experience again if the opportunity arises.


T. Simms

                                   














"Hi, I'm Caspers mum." That was my usual description of myself and my whole job description in one word, "mum" (cook, cleaner, counselor and part time bad guy). Before I went on Just What We Need I was so shy I would avoid social interaction as I truly believed I had nothing of value to offer. After being on the course I now realize how wrong I was as I have made some great friends and helped give valued advice. I have also become more self aware and realised who I am now - apart from being Caspers mum or the 20-something year old with no real obligations that I was before he was born. Now that I have been on

this course, it has made me realize I will never be either of these people again. I have obligations now, and I love being a mum... But I am a women in my own right. I have qualities, skills and 2 very beautiful children, but most of all I have my self-esteem now. So now when I speak to people it is: "hello, I am Helen, Caspers mum". In short this course has changed my life - well, rediscover me so I have a life!  I would truly advise it to everyone.

                                   














For me this session related to my life and bought up memories as I have a 2 year old son whose father is blind.  I have had to naturally do the same thing with him but for real.  At the time we did this session I was currently separated from him and had no communication at all with him and neither did my son.  I had heard through mutual friends that he had wanted to regain contact but was waiting till I was ready to make communication again. Before session 3 I had no plans to make contact with him and even had the mentality that if he wanted to regain contact it would have to be made from him first. When we had the trust exercise I was able to share my memories of my experience of having to do that in real life and I felt my mentality start to change. The exercise itself helped me to understand more from the other point of view - how hard it must've been for him and I suddenly had a huge amount of compassion for him. As a result of session 3 I made contact with him and we set up a meeting to discuss arrangements regarding contact and access etc.


Since making that first contact with him we have rebuilt our friendship and have a good steady routine in regards to contact and access. Without doing this course and especially that session I'm unable to believe that I would've made that move to contact him and think I would still be in a position of having no communication with him at all. I even made him aware that it was this course that helped me come to the decision to contact him and we are both truly thankful for the course.


Since regaining contact my son and his father have had steady and routined time together which is ongoing and consistent.  This has allowed them to bond, become close and start building a strong father son relationship. It has also allowed me to have more time and freedom to do things like catch up on sleep, housework or just to take time out for myself.  It has impacted our lives by making us feel happier and gives us that sense of family closeness and unity, support and encouragement and we are even healthier for this new lifestyle change and all thanks to session 3.

I joined this course with an expectation to learn a bit about myself, learn how to deal with every day situations and life and to just generally meet new friends.


However what I have gained from this course is so much more than that. On session 3 we did a trust exercise where we had to work in pairs. One of us had to walk around with our eyes closed as to be 'blind' and the other person had to lead them and be responsible and trusted not to lead them into danger but into clear paths etc.